To write or paint, that is the question (timed)

The smart lady at the arts center who reminded me of Angelica Huston (when do I tell her this? will she "like" that she is like Angelica Huston, how could you not like being compared to an intelligent and elegant--though old--star?).... says I see 300 "artists" (my quotes) a year and, well, she says, you have to choose.
Choose? I ask.
Basically she says between writing and painting.
Oh, I say (thinking Schnabel, thinking... generally renaissance and a little F-U in there, too).
I don't see people making it who don't choose.

So here's the thing.
I've been thinking writing is my MAIN THING for about 16 or so years (I judge by Nic's age).
Sixteen years. What do I have to "show" for it? I have two FINISHED but UNPUBLISHED novels, and one short story published and one contest won. I have (perhaps) over a hundred rejections, mostly from agents (some of whom actually read stuff) but also from publishers. No one is exactly and particularly interested in publising my work.

So we go to the college counselor (for Nic) and she says colleges are interested in (his) parents. Hmm. I think, damn, an unpublished (read: wanabe) novelist and a "sunday (if popsurreal) painter." Poor Nic. Poor me! What a nothing-to-show-for-it-life. Damn.

So combining that with (her name is Kathleen not Angelica)'s question... choose? the Red Pill or the Blue Pill. (red state, blue state, ha ha).
And I think I should just F-ing pay Ian his $30,000 "pound of fleshala" and get my book
published. People don't ask if you made sales (or they do but you can be vague "getting better" you can say) they ask if it was published. Hmm.
Am I desperate or what?
[It's not surprisingly the money, I have the money. Will i feel shame, or feel "ripped off" when and if Ian's enterprise (a) folds or (b) is discredited by Poets'nWriters?]
I don't know.

What are the arguments:
I am actually enjoying writing now more than ever, though what I am writing is "more" experimental and despite a fantasy that it MAY appeal to Dave Eggers (please please please make me a knight in your empire!) it will APPEAL LESS to serious agents who was serious easy to place books. I mean, literary is hard enough, but "experimental"... sheesh.
So it's not likely that my "luck" such as it has been will change by THIS PEICE I AM WRITING. To top it off, I am beginning to wonder if my FINISHED novels truly reflect the best "who" I am , or (sorry MW) have they been too compromised by this project: PLEASE NEW YORK?


There are argments for making painting my "main" thing: