Timed Writing 030408

amy hempel
ok so chuckP likes her. i wanted to see his "roots" it could just as easily have been hemingway, but no, amy hempel. why did i think she lived here? anyway she doesn't. but she DOES live in an exurban locale not unlike where I live now and she has a lot of involvement with her dog. a sign of a "good book as soon as i open it and read a little i think of people i could send it to, like greg or elizabethG... would my book club think her too fey -- feminine, short stories--? do i care? she reminds me a bit of miranda july (see TIN HOUSE: FANTASTIC WOMEN) though MJ is clearly "out there" (i mean anyone with performance art and film in their resume... maybe i should claim that! LOL... king charlatan's game etc.

miranda july
thinking about (did i dream about her?)miranda july a lot. what should i do with our connection? write her a letter? wouldn't i just be another marginally sane fan... like, um, our cats were neutered at the same place... wanna have coffee? funny. i want in some way to "betray" her dad/parents... like ha ha i know your secret you really HATE them that's why you changed you name to JULY. i understand I too was injured by them, yadda yadda. but that's all nasty and silly and a waste of time.
maybe i can transform all this into a PIECE of writing, not unlike BEING JOHN MALKOVICH but i mean could it be called BEING MIRANDA JULY.. a memwaaa? who would be on my side? LOL.
more later
oh, one more thing it's funny that gregH was the one who told me about her parents etc.
he's such a strange one in my life.
in a way i admire him -- rigorously independant, long suffering (traveling salesman), hard-as-nails inner core (philosophy of crystal with a pulsing heart--what am i ginsberg?)
mostly he's one of the few people (like elizG) who "get" something about life... sorry i don't put dear J in this category as she believes in things -- that, um, we are here all improvising, it's funny and tragic and inclusive and no one really cares what you think anyway so why not be independant and contrarian...
i don't know
what do i know

memory lane(s)
gregH kept saying what am I tom graetz? like he's jogging my memory (how did he know i watch LOST's "explanatory" CONTACT... no, CONTROL (?) last night all about time travel, and dreamt about it...
tom graetz was a social challenge in 4? 5? 6th? grade? fat, ugly, he decided he "liked" me and was also mean and a bully. one time (when???) he pinched me very hard. he demanded to be my friend. my mom told me to be nice to him, thanks mom. i told him i didn't want to be his friend. not sure when where or how this happened, but it did. some kind of turning point or other -- i don't HAVE to "give myself" (HELLO richard adams and ABUSE therapy) to anyone who wants me. I can say NO.
why is greg bringing him up now?


LOST
in a way, relief. ah, it's all "sci-fi" (dr who) stuff. goofy machines that make rats travel in time. and strange islands and geeky science boy/men and scary industrialists (penny's dad)...
it's going to have comic-like explanations...
i could cry

PHIBro
i could write and write about this. my memory has been jogged.
gary wickham, bill ridgeway, dave bancel (the guy who died), ron vance, the secretaries -- the guitar gal and the black lady -- pam -- who named her kid Krystal or something.
the boss in cowboy boots, the perfume salesman,
jan juras, the mine, hammond lead (the old man) dan briedegan (east penn batteries)



greg hengesbaugh and tom graetz



alice and palahniuk