A*holes and Cows

I think I' ve discovered one of the secrets of the (human) universe. The essence of man and the essence of woman.

First, women. The worst insult you can give a woman is to call her a cow. A cow is much worse than a bitch. A bitch is angry, full of will and personality, defined. A bitch can create space for itself. Others fear it. A cow is unthinking, eating, destined for the agri-factory (milk or meat), has no will, desire (other than to eat), no self awareness, is a "victim/slave", powerless. Not unuseful, but controlled by others. (We're talking domestic cattle here.) A cow also implies that the greatest and most unique "skill" of women (having babies) is merely part of the eating/reproducing production line they are powerless to do anything about. Food. The mouth. Weight. Body image. Motherhood. Power and powerlessness. Also, making food the "big" issue, validates men's complaints that women don't "really" like sex. No, not when compared to eating. This is the truth.

Men. Men know they are assholes. They cover up their fear of being assholes and being called assholes but co-opting the word into the "fun curses" category. "You asshole!" is commonly heard. The essence of asshole is having eaten (having acted, having done everything) what comes out, one's Freudian "product" is a foul-smelling turd. This is what men fear: that all their grand efforts and plans amount to "nothing" ie. a steaming turd. In addition, the "secret" that heterosexual men try to avoid is that due to a fluke of body positioning, their assholes are actually erotic zones. (Moreso that women's because of the massage the prostate

The post Greene Existentialist Art Conflict

Could one pray to be relieved of the power to create? I know it's a cliche but
there's that American Indian thing, the shaman if he forsakes his power goes insane. Is is the same for the artist? Why is it so hard to produce in the face of disinterest of the world? There's the other issue--Graham Greene wasn't one to abstain from any sin (debauchery, drink) as far as I can see, yet look what amazing work he produced. Patricia Highsmith, too. These are not happy people, not good parents, not teetotallers. I want to be more sinful. But I can't be. Like a person condemned to paint kittens on velvet.
I can see why people become furious with "capitalism" and "our society." Too bad they don't read enough, but I get it. It does often feel like there is this large animal (the Matrix, the Matrix!)
that wants us to eat, consume, grow fat, transfer all we have to it. It does seem so, who wouldn't want to reach out and smack it?
Trouble is much of it is human nature, over and over we learn the lessons. We can't get away from our self and ourselves, try as we might. Even the drugs (sugar, meth, yes even my beloved coffee) are full of false promises. Coffee is meth on a tiny tiny scale. You feel smarter, more productive (maybe meth people don't feel productive) for a little while then there you are again.
Kafka, too. How did he go on?

It's Go-Go not Cry-Cry. Why the Go-Go Dancer cries! Find out here!

I'm like the go go dancer in Planet Terror. All my outward actions are embracing of the world as it is, venal, decadent, decaying, carnal, yet inside, I'm a crying poet, hopelessly original, so original all the other poets make me want to vomit, they all are at the peace rally, they know nothing of life, so their poetry is worse than the poope of the pigeon, worse than denying themselves masturbation in sympathy with the penguins of antarctica who are committing suicide for global warming. I should kill them. They cry for death like the Immortals in Zardoz, the next place I will ride to on my motorcycle of horror like that person in those bad movies that have the power to move from one film to another, what ever happened with that? that was a very good idea for a superpower. I will work on that.
The great sorrow of the world is nobody knows 'nothin'. All the so-called smarty-panties are all agreeing with each other (disgustlingly Platonic circle jerks under their cafe tables). No one is original, this is the great satan (Hel-lo Iran!?) this is the great crisis of humanity. Has it always been so? Probably the self-appointed Pharisees (?) are always verbal and clever but they are not original and they cannot see and experience what I can and they are above going to the go-go dance except for the joke on their birthdays and they giggle, the scum, at the desperate ugly men who are my armies of true humanity.
This is why I cry.

Popeye, Imperialista

This is what I don't understand...

Does anyone ever say this anymore? What happened to 'dunno? I love it that Keith Richards is famous for saying, "Why the fuck are you asking me?" when someone asked him what he thought we should do in Vietnam.

This is what I don't understand.

If "we" don't have confidence that our people are "smart" (read: Randian self-interested) enough to care about their own security, that they care more about being liked (read: multiculturalism) or fair (read: anti-war, etc.) then we may already be lost.
If our educational system (already pretty left of center to far left of center) has been indoctrinating people since the '60s, then despite a few remaining bastions of America-First (I mean this in a good way), such as Texas, the military, and possibly some Cubans, it's pretty much over for The American Empire.

Now, most people around me would be "happy" about this (read: guilt about wealth, "racism" etc), but most of them are woefully unprepared to consider that there could arise (Hello? Taliban?) an "enemy" that would make us (at some distant time in the future) rise again to protect ourselves, defend our good name, etc.

This all makes me a far right nut, I'm fully aware. Some of it, I admit, I try on just to see how it feels mentally (morally? what IS that about?). I think I would be interested in a sociology (hate that word) that would look at how countries/cultures are raising their kids. Are there any "patriotic" societies that are NOT totalitarian like Saudi Arabia, North Korea, and the "new" Venezuela. Is there any country in the world where people (1) really like who they are; (2) but are not wracked with guilt for what makes them more well off than others, and; (3) are well informed and patriotic enough to support a strong defensive military? Who would be the candidates?
I think most "euro-culture" (including Canada) if pretty high on the guilt (why global warming is so popular... endless guilt!) Most third world countries wouldn't be so proud of what they have (poverty) but might be positive about wanting wealth, though they wouldn't have a terribly literate population, hence subject to craziness like Rwanda. What about Asia? India? Japan? Switzerland?
More later.

Carlos Bernardo Murphy's (fictional) Bio IV

After Carlos discovered his roots and exposed his illegitimate birth, he went to Mexico to try to find his father. All he knew about him was that he worked at a mask shop, which kind--Dia de los Muertos, luchadore, or generic tourista--he didn't know. Of course, Carlos was already a middle-aged man at this time and had only recently begun to study Spanish. To the Mexicans, he was just another tourist, but to Carlos, his first trip to Mexico opened his heart. He felt for the first time that he was home.
This was a good thing as well as not so good thing. He had a wife and family in Minnesota, so "feeling at home," alone, in Mexico, made him conflicted about what it was he wanted to do with his life. He suddenly felt for the first time sympathy for the myriad men his age to go AWOL on their wives and children. One doesn't have to go far to see examples of this. Rarely is the phenomenon seen as a logical solution to the inherent contradictions of "modern life" where a man often feels burdened by responsibility, limited in his ability to play (i.e., hang with buddies, drink, and, yes, whore around). This playless man is often a God-less man and even a community-less man as many of the traditional ways men used to get out (deer shack hunting/drinking; ice house fishing/drinking; men's clubs, Elks, Freemasons, even men's auxiliary at the church). The combination of "gentility" (Carlos began to see this more and more as "feminization") and the increasingly loud and demanding gay "lifestyle" crowd cut into what used to be an unquestioned need for men to get together. Suddenly the Old Style (hunting and drinking) was crass, and the new style defined men who wanted to be with men as gay, still anathema as a label if neutral as a behavior. So men dropped out and Carlos for the first time looked at his two teenage sons and wife as they sat down to dinner and felt like crying. He wanted to disappear.

The Corruption of the World (more later)

The world is crazy now. Has the world always been crazy? Is it a function of age to see the world this way? Has there always been a "crazy" culture consuming people's thought, giving them false hope that they know the true problems and more importantly the true solutions? There have always been people with solutions, even Hitler convinced himself he was solving a problem.
What seems a different to me is witnessing the birth of a paradigm. Again, even this cannot be unique. What about when Christianity came in and threatened the old gods? What about the influence of trade on established societies? What about the sudden presence of a culture with tools centuries beyond the technological level of your people?

But let's focus. What is happening now is happening now. And what is happening is that we are witnessing the demise of the WWII paradigm and the rise of the Globalist paradigm.
(more later)

NOTES ON CARLOS M. Detroit Love Child

The story of Carlos M.
Executive Summary (third person):
His mother moved to Detroit while pregnant and married a dentist. They had the child anyway and only years later it was to explained to Carlos that he was indeed a "love child" at a time when that sort of thing wasn't very common, especially when the woman was the American.

Detail (first person):
In this case my mother was a Navy nurse and their boat (enroute to the Philipines in 1943) off Yucatan. She fell for a luchadore (off duty when she met him as the story goes) and became pregant. When the Navy discovered this, she was discharged (honorably, they hid everything) and moved back to Detroit to wait for he fiance, a Marine and dentist to return from the war so they could get married.
The story is fuzzy after this. Did my father know that I was not his child? How could he not?
He died with his secret. Only years later when my mother discovered my collection of luchadore masks and she broke into tears, did I hear the true story of my life. My features look Euro, German mainly, so it was hard to believe my father was a luchadore. He was more Spanish than Indian-looking my mother said, though I am not so sure what that means.
So here I am, years later. I am Carlos and I am for the first time learing Spanish.

i hate my life, signed Creature

i am creature the house elf. i hate my life. my kids are spoiled and ungrateful, bound to be ungrateful adults (see "Everyman" by Roth). my wife is a narcissist-spiritualist one step from suicide watch yet teaching anger management to adoring lesbians. i'm actually a closet gay, beaten into insanity so deep by catholic nuns that I can barely look inside the dark hole of me, seething I am. however, i am smart enough to avoid meth. really. really. but i'm sure i'd like it.
i wonder about going to prison and being as Michael Scott ("The Office") says: someone's be-otch. what would that be like. "Oz" I suppose. except i'd be there. in the meantime i think about Creature ("Harry Potter...") the pessimistic house elf, muttering, hating. that's me. no marriage counseling, please! i'm so far gone. what would i do if a tsunami came and took everything away? but i live in wisconsin, no tsunamis, no hurricanes, just bad snow storms. not bad enough.
what if i was on that bridge in MN and saw my life go in front 'o 'mi eyes (oise)... (piratespeak) ... would i have hated what I saw?
answer: yes!
signed
Creature