i can't tell what i am
maybe i'm "depressed" that
i'm getting old
that the world isn't the way i hoped it would be
that i have disappointed so many people
and they have disappointed me
that the world hasn't beat a path to my
unhumble door
that marriage turned out to be
much lonelier and less fun than I had hoped
that my children turned out
overweight and lazy
did i really say that?
is pessimism a bad thing?
my book on survivalism says
pessimists survive better in plane crashes
(is life really a big plane crash?)
let's get back to depression
"age" is kicking in
not in a horrible way either
more like an infestation
by termites or ants or soul-crunching lice
or something
why am i so negative?
has my inherent genetic pessimism kicked in?
is it "the medications"
is it realizing my precious opinions
are likely to molder like a stack
of undelivered mail...
found in an old house
infested by soul-crunching termites
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