Could one pray to be relieved of the power to create? I know it's a cliche but
there's that American Indian thing, the shaman if he forsakes his power goes insane. Is is the same for the artist? Why is it so hard to produce in the face of disinterest of the world? There's the other issue--Graham Greene wasn't one to abstain from any sin (debauchery, drink) as far as I can see, yet look what amazing work he produced. Patricia Highsmith, too. These are not happy people, not good parents, not teetotallers. I want to be more sinful. But I can't be. Like a person condemned to paint kittens on velvet.
I can see why people become furious with "capitalism" and "our society." Too bad they don't read enough, but I get it. It does often feel like there is this large animal (the Matrix, the Matrix!)
that wants us to eat, consume, grow fat, transfer all we have to it. It does seem so, who wouldn't want to reach out and smack it?
Trouble is much of it is human nature, over and over we learn the lessons. We can't get away from our self and ourselves, try as we might. Even the drugs (sugar, meth, yes even my beloved coffee) are full of false promises. Coffee is meth on a tiny tiny scale. You feel smarter, more productive (maybe meth people don't feel productive) for a little while then there you are again.
Kafka, too. How did he go on?
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