god's gifts of decay and death

i think i had an insight

self hate and hope are a bad combination

liberals tend to hate their "roots"
(it used to be their parents before
the second and third generations kicked in)
they hate "america" (ie. walmart, wall street)

yet they are ODDLY optimistic aboout
government
things we can change (save the....!)

i think i'm the opposite
i respect my roots
monkey, human, american, all the flawed creatures
that preceeded us

and i don't have much hope

everyone will make their mistakes
honesty is difficult
clarity is impossible
thinking is flawed
emotions are ultimately selfish
death and decay
are gods incomprehensible gifts
what would it be like if
we understood them?

and yet

i am cheerful
even joyful

but not hopeful