hard monday (all heil gaia!)

monday mornings are always hard, not in the good way. always i face why do anything other than loll about and look at porn and drink coffee. thank god there's no heavier drugs around. someone said there's something wrong with the human brain (duh) that we need (crave) so much stimulation. but easy to say, hard to do anything about. my friend sits quietly for hours and shaves her head and does it help? a little. everyone says it's money that ought to be my motivator but i have enough of that, so that sucks. why can't i be one of those people who can never get enough money and then i'd have this little office downtown like jeffR with a secretary and lunch dates and gossip about the market and people who think i'm hot shit but NOOOO i had to go and be a fuckin artiste makin' stuff nobody cares about (too smart for the outsiders, too stoopid for the insiders)... but maybe just maybe i am a genius, why not, someone has to be, surely now we are in an age of a new orthodoxy being born. it's something to see, maybe that's why i'm reading about martin luther, if you lived then you would have seen it evolving, quickly, from fuck those asshole popes in rome to shit, the new people are coming after us! i see this happening and it's scary, it's probably not likely to end up in people being burned at the stake anytime soon, but it'll happen, or it's equivalent. all hail gaia! heil gaia? it doesn't look that way not quite yet, it probably needs a few more crises that could be blamed on it.... what would that be short of that movie that proposed INSTANT climate change (this geological time is a bit of a bummer for the ADD world we live in, but never mind... ) party (like in the matrix...) until it's time to kill the unbelievers.

i'm waiting for the islamics to say the green movement is anti-god. I'd love that! that would be so funny. damn, then we'd have to go to war for them, for gore, for mother earth! maybe the missing pieces. what if they deliberately messed with the "earth" (axis? magnetic fields? something) to bring on armageddon quicker. funny funny.